Half a year ago, my life changed for the better when I agreed on getting married at twenty one. Despite the millions of thoughts, emotions, and feelings rushing through me- I was happy. I lived a happy marriage with my spouse and soon found out that I was pregnant. My husband and I were both ecstatic, we couldn’t contain our excitement and emotions, everything was going smoothly and as
we had planned.
Three months into my pregnancy, my morning sickness subsided and two ultrasounds later revealed that I was having a baby boy. Again, I was overtaken by joy and started shopping for my baby, thinking of names, and of a life with him. Everything was going smoothly until one night, I noticed something bulging out of me. I went into panic mood and called for my husband. He rushed to the restroom and told me to lay down on the couch, the ambulance was on its way.
I was rushed to the nearest hospital and put on immediate bedrest. The doctor said that I had bulging membranes sticking out and that I was having contractions. I broke down in tears. This couldn’t be happening to me.
I was given steroid shots to stop the contractions and was put on IV fluids along with other medications. I was on strict bedrest for three days in the trendelenburg position- my pelvic area was placed higher than my head- I couldn’t even get up to use the restroom. I put my faith in God and prayed everyday; I was determined that I would make it in this position for a few more weeks so that my baby could possibly survive at twenty five weeks.
I had doctors come in and speak to me about how my chances of having a healthy baby were slim and that even if he did survive, he’d face an endless amount of problems, both physically and emotionally. A neonatologist came in and gave me statistics, realistic ones, and my heart sank. My little angel only had a five percent chance of surviving. I wept like a baby along with my mom, family members, and husband. I didn’t know what to do.
An ultrasound was later performed on me, showing that my baby was breech, not head first, which left me with the decision of whether or not I should get a c-section. I didn’t want to think negative and was pretty sure that i’d last a few more weeks with my baby inside me, but told the doctors that a c-section was a no for now because of the harm that it would cause both me and my baby. I prayed to God that my baby would switch head first when I was ready to deliver.
I had a new nurse every night and everyday, all of them were angels in their own way and helped me immensely. One night, I felt a gush of water and a nurse announced that my water had broken. I burst into tears. The doctor rushed in and asked if she could check me vaginally, but I refused because I didn’t want her to further damage my water or to cause troubles. I was put on antibiotics and magnesium sulfate to help my baby’s brain development, in case he was born early.
A few days later, at five in the morning, I was experiencing pressure around my back and abdomen area. My husband, who was by my side at all times, asked if I needed anything. Scared and confused, I said no. He drifted off to sleep and my pain got worst. The pressure increased, but I sucked it in, trying to avoid labour. I thought that I was invincible and that not telling anyone would cause the pain to go away.
Finally, at six in the morning, when the pressure increased, I had no choice but to call my nurse. She immediately put a monitor on my abdomen to monitor my baby’s heartbeat. His heartbeat was perfect and he was actively moving around. With the pain increasing, I asked her to remove the monitor. I was rushed into the labour and delivery room. I was screaming in pain as nurses gathered around me. The doctor came in and confirmed that I was dilated enough. I was then transported into the delivery room and asked to push.
After an hour and a half of pushing, my little angel came into this world, with his water intact. Yes, his water was intact. The neonatologist had a look at him and said that at twenty three weeks, he was too young to survive and to put in an NICU. I started crying like never before. I was shattered.
I was taken back to the labour and delivery room and got to hold my baby boy. He was perfect. He weighed a little over a pound, twelve and a half inches long, his little body and face was almost fully formed. I kept wishing that my body could hold him in a little longer, but realized that this was Gods plan and that there was nothing that I could have done. My baby was alive for about an hour before his little soul slipped away.
I had my family make his funeral arrangements and was sent home a day later. I still mourn my little boys loss, but I know that he’s in heaven waiting for mommy and daddy. He will always be alive in our hearts. I wanted other pregnant mommies who lost their babies to know that they’re not alone and that there are support groups out there if needed. Have faith in God and understand that he has a plan for you- for all of us. Understand that your baby is in a better place.
For pregnant mommies with healthy pregnancies, I want to say to listen to your body, please. Make sure that you’re taking your pre-natal vitamins daily, that you’re hydrated, and that you rest.
Watch out for blood, cramps, pressure, fatigue, and extra discharge. These are some signs that I ignored and I was dehydrated so be careful.
Thank you for reading my story…
What’s your insight?